mother earth

i went for a drive and things just switched

i felt it deep inside

i was driving and feeling like okay detach and detach, trying to mend my heart and move on

im trying to feel and forcing myself to feel kinda and driving i just feel i zone out and go into the astral plane lol

i was wondering like whats going on here i feel like im coming out of a weird relationship and it really rocked me

trying to gain my balance again after all that

ppast hurts, current hurts, fears… like break ups suck and theyre scary

and unsteady

a lot of love and hatred and the whole spectrum of emotions come up

especiallywhen you dont know what youre reunning from a lot of the time, talking about myself

and if we dont heal them we harbor them and they linger

spread

but anyways yeah, feel your emotions

lol so ive been feeling

and i had a download, mental download of some circumstance that literally just gave me such a great feeling of peace that i could let go i guess

you know the feeling like its CPTSD, and limerence and a whole list of really intense emotions but like wounding from codependency and how i value my energy, who i am in the world, i was so lost like had no idea why i was the way i was because when i started working with energy healing i was a totally different person or felt like i was

but it was built on false foundations and with that was the foundation that crumbled that im rebuilding

but like i was like why am i socially anxious why do i do this like why am i a freakin board when im in public or around anyone

and i feel ike the universe or i guess earth is like in a cycle right

or has cycles of energies

and so the cycle im in on earth i can see how everything played out perfectly

why it happened

how it gave me strength

what it showed me

how it fucked me up at first and im like wtf i wanna die lol

many times

but like then again now i have the capacity to see where im going and thats really cool too.

healing my body and energy and soul so i can really thrive

anyways yeah so driving thinking about that listening to my subs actually lol the df one and i was listening to healing vids on youtube as i usually do mixed with music sometimes lol but like yeah and there were a few i’ll link below (or on my youtube playlist golden nugs)

that fucking slapped lol

i was literally lit up my whole body was just a fucking lightning rod and i was just releasing

i had a visceral experience of my body releasing these past hurts that have been plaguing me

and i could feel the energy transfer

so yeah,

i was driving into the twilight zone and it was the last video she was talking about earth

she said “the earth is your mother” talking about releasing negative energy and she was saying how the earth is our mother

whoever told you that you cant take and give energy to the earth - can fuck off pretty much lol

like we are of the earth

she is our mother

we give her our energy and she has an abundance of energy the more we give her the happier she is

and i was never told that as a child, it was always i deal with this, myself

so like it released shame from me it released fear and poverty it released this huge wave of pain in my upper back and i could feel a huge release of energy from my body

coming out my arms and like it allowed me to release all the shoulds, i should do this and shoud do that and my mother and father wounds and it was like a fucking huge release

lol attempting to write about something so etheric and whimsical and like otherworldly that its hard to get the point across

lol it was bad ass, listen to them

remember the earth is our mother

we can give her energy and she feeds our energy

we dont need to take from anyone, we dont need to suck off anyone

we dont need to over take get revenge like all the shit

just fucking let it go into the earth

lol oh yeah and she was saying like for mother earth that she was saying ‘give it to mama’ lol or ‘ let me fill you up’ which is a new vibe, same as my previous post like kinda linking a new energy to the spirit world that religion has kinda turned somber and serious

it was an experience

i enjoyed muchly lol

its funny to think to how it’s energy right like its divine energy that we recieve from her

it’s unlimited

we can source whatever energy we desire

lol shaking my head at the past, just in time for new years lol and all that comes to mind to say to the past is that was fucked lol yall need jesus

what a year it was

what a life its been

dang

def feeling the shifts astrologically

home life changing, how i think, how i feel like my body and emotions just feel so much better

taking my power back from people, places, thought processes, shoulds, dynamics energetically and physically, like lots of change this has been a crazy transformation

grateful

just rambling lol

that was a good drive - still buzzing

hope to experience that again #manifesting

xx