holes in cups

so thinking about filling your cup this am

thinking about yes we can always fill our cup or we know ways in which to fill our said cup

but how do we ensure our cup does not empty, from a hole in the bottom

well that analogy was sent to me this am and i was like okay so a hole in the cup yes i can feel drained. i feel really good at times too, whats the hole?

is it a person, a thing, what is this hole

acceptance? attention?

so we have our full cup and then we want something else, or we go searching for something, we empty a little of our cup, and go on with our days.

but i noticed how natural some of these energy drains can be

like for myself

and im thinking

what is the reason for giving from our cup?

what is the purpose of giving that which we have built internally, externally?

so thats where my brain took me on an adventure lol

this cup of mine, i can fill it and then i give it but how i see it for myself is its like a dump

lol like i fucking dump my cup and im like there you go

and without even knowing like if the person can give me with was in my cup back, i just dump it lol

and its a people pleasing thing, where i was taught from a young age that:

love is conditional

and if you are not perfect from the outside and look great, are acting nice and proper, you will not recieve love

so this is like engrained it goes back generations, im sure for everyone if we look hard enough our parents and grandparents dealt with the same shit we are

except we are at a climax where now it is EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE

to live life without looking at these inner things going on that we are being asked to look at

emotions lol look at that theyre back again

anyways, so like this hole right

so we have this hole in a cup and it just drains, whether it be addiction - that can be emotional too, like the highs of life and the lows, we can get addicted to that hormonally in the body

and for me i believe that it has a lot to do with reassurance and safety but just outdated programs right

so thats where we can have seepage

so we have a hole in a cup and so then the next time we turn around our cup is empty and its a perpetual cycle of keeping our cup full

so how do we keep our cup full

well its in finding the hole

what are we searching for that we so easily give our love in our cup away

what do we want

theres a need not being met and that need is what is forcefully subconsciously pouring our cup

and it comes with honesty and some soul searching

im in the process right now

what is it that i feel like i need to give my whole self away to recieve ?

perhaps i was never given the space time and permission to even know who i am

weird concepts surrounding emotions and money as well, they are closely linked in energy and ive also heard that money and love are similar

so where our intellegnce is emotionally im assuming is equal to our lack and abundance mindset

which can be true, but no excuse now as i have all the time in the world to look at myself and see whats going on in the depths to understand deeper as to how i can shift my reality

so if the process if finding out who you are, that seems quite vast for a hole in our cup

so we simplify it

what need is not being met?

well im not recognizing myself, so i search externally to be shown love and recognition

not only that but chasing an idea of someone who was absent - limerence

which is another interesting thing ive kinda navigated my way through and am still catching where it sneaks in

but when i give my power away to others in search of these neeeds that i can give myself, i become powerless

and yearning, searching, externally from myself, wehre the answer lives and where i will find that need im looking for outside of myself

just weird concepts where everything is linked

everything has a meaning, no coincidences and all these little pieces of the puzzle are now coming up to be seen and it somewhat makes sense

and theres no shame

like i really dont feel a lot of shame anymore, compared to what i did before

because honestly i really truly feel like our society is crumbling to be recreated and its because we went from survivng in like the early 1900s

maybe earlies, im not good with that shit

but like we went from no fucking electricty to now electric cars,

a bunch of shit lol like so many domesticated changes from like dirt beds lol

so where catching up in a lot of ways

psychologically

and its takes the personalization of these normal human things away when we are able to see ourselves through the eyes of love and compassion rather than through shame and fear

we wont see shit if we are looking to out ourselves for being bad

and its easier to see our shit when we can relate to other peoples shit, i find

so then were not the shittiest lol

objectively noticing other peoples shit, helps us see out shit

my favourite quote and i heard it a long time ago or maybe i made it up but, everyones shitty

lol figuartively and literally

like legit everyone has fucked up

were human

but its the learning of lessons, through emotional turmoil and the ego that we find true peace, because once we know our demons, they dont haunt us anymore

xx

hope you find your hole today lol