were not regular gods, were cool gods
different aspects of my life are shifting
and i can witness all of them and as i write
the same story lines happen for everything
how i know this?
i just do lol
everyones story is different
everyones story is special
lost and confused
the best is yet to come
i am guided
and i can feel it
and its not your normal everyday god
it’s the coolest god ever
a feeling of fuck yeah
a feeling of oh yeah this is me
and actually enjoying being myself
this is a pattern i have suffered through finding for a very long time
lifetimes
ancestrally
where i feel i havent known who i was
finding myself in others
only to be let down
because when they go that part of me dies along with them
and yet im realizing that it was always in me
the mirror reflections i fell in love with
thats the beauty of connecting
we are encountered by a part of ourselves
because even if i am loved
i dont allow myself to feel it
because i havent given myself the luxury of seeing these things within me
its painful
to realize
recognize
witness
only this time
its on my own two feet
does it feel any better?
well it feels stable for once
the leg that was knocked out from under my table perhaps was never meant to be there forever
but it felt like it should be
this is just a healing journey
and im realizing i cant change the world
people
and the like
i can only focus on me
leading the way
and for that i apologize to myself
for unknowingly feeding a false reality
or putting so much weight in others and abandoning myself
we all have our own journeys
we all have our own lessons
i wish it was a one size fits all sometimes
but whats the fun in that
learning this
learning so many things
feeling independent
feeling connected
to more things than i have in a very long time
more things that make me feel like me
and some that dont
acceptance
its a loaded word
with a lot of meaning
where do we and dont we accept reality
the truth
sometimes we can even trick ourselves
acceptance
feels like death sometimes
death of….
rebirthing
we can only start if we know where were at
acceptance
thank you
