getting better at expressing anger

LOL

doozy okay so i have been digging into my ancestry and something that comes up is my grammy lol my bff my numero uno

i love her

she was and is my first best frienda dn all my meories with her are just so bright and loving

lol and so i recently looked into her birthchart the more i hear about her

the more im like dang this woman was a firecracker lol

and everyone says that about her she was firey and for me i always saw the softy

lol she was my little grammy that i used to play with her floopy ear lobes and cuddle beside her in her bigg chair and talk to her about life and she is just so amazing, i love her

and i miss her

but yeah so i looked at her birthchart and she is fiesty ill link below

this is vedic astrology

but she has 6 12th house placements

and the 12th house is regarding

“The twelfth house rules the subconscious mind, dreams, intuition, instinct, hypnosis, secrets, and everything hidden or that is part of the mysterious side of life, namely the behind-the-scenes or underground activity that you are not aware of or that you must keep confidential.”

so its funny to see my love of the occult come straight direct through my lineage

lol anyways

DAT BIIII HAS A LOT OF FIRE IN HER CHART TOOO

so to say this woman was on fire is an understatement lol

she is my grammy

but yeah so anger

lol we are told more often than not that women should be calm and gentle

and thats the epitome of a true woman

and yet divine feminine energy fucks shit up

its purpose is to stir, dream, destroy, create

its purpose is to change and transform the masculine

the masculine does the feminine creates and dreams what the masculine will do

im talking energies within one being lol one humna

so they work in tandem when working correctly

the masculine has to have a strong sense of safety so the fem can open up and be able to create

creation does not happen under stress

and when it does it aint good lol

but yeah so the masculine has to have the strong foundations to have the fem connect and feel safe to create and the masc then makes the fems dreams reality

AND IM TALKING ENERGY HERE lol

not physical people

which i think society has skewed and twisted just another way to have all the power be taken away from the matriarichal side which i mighht ad this world was built on lol

these fucken stupid dudes coming in acting all hot shit like they fucking know everything and yet they cant pop no creation out of there coochie lol

#killthepatriarachalego lol

anyways yeah back to energy

so we all have a balance of mas and fem energies within us

and its different for everyone

some women really like being forward and step more masc at times, but its not absolute

forever

this is how it is is moves and flows like wata

and so we change and sometimes like this and do this its consistenyl changing and so we consistently check in to our energies and adjust choices and decisions based on our core frequencies of emtions and energies

and we have light and dark

so imagine like a circle and quadrant inside

karmic masc

karmic fem

divine mas

divine fem

and so these karmic energies that people get freaked out about or i guess like shadow shit lol

like where we have it inside but we havent accepted yet

and we have like this part of our energy that is manifesting karmic energies so that we can see these aspects of ourselves and then we shift our lives around those due to lessons learnt THROUGH KARMA

and when we integrate those energies we are able to bring the divine energies into greater strength because we know are changing habits and beliefs around knowing the truth of the karmic interference lol

does that make sense?

like veeyrthing is within

and so we will have an experience with someone and be like wtf was that that sucked

okay this is your time to look at that

what did you actually experience

what emotions

did they remind you of someting

what events took place

what continued repeating

and we learn these lessons so then when that same karmic energy is placed before us it is no longer the devil we dont know

but the devil we do know

and are prepared for

and we can fully embody our divine energies more easily and effortlessly and move into more flowy expression

but this programming man like it aint no lie

we definitely have all these beliefs ingrained for generations and thats why we are trudging through this shit

because were evolving as a species lol

anyways so yeah, learning to express it more efficiently lol

because holding it in until i fucking blow my top is not efficient

it is disasterous and really its like disasterous inside too because it eats away lol the amount of times i stew and ruminate on shit and its like oh damn i couldve just said something lol

but anwyays yeah, i can feel the rush of anger now its slow

but its pure

like im standing up for myself and i know wthat the more i practice this skill

the more i let myself express myself freely the less weird it feels

because the rage is intense and i dont wanna los emy shit so i hold it back but there needs to be like a pressure relief valve lol

a little snide remark lol or screaming into the abyss - rather than someones face lol

some sort of relief for the pressure because it builds and i rage

but it is teaching me which is the right and wrong way

i had a ot of time alone i feel like thats the gift i was given to know what is right and wrong for me in my life

which is super cool

and with anger it is such a pure energy

angery at its core is pure

but also anger is reaction to a stronger emoiton beneath the surface

we feel anger in response to something

so the anger flares up well what is this about

for me its being undervalued, not paid attention to, i have a young energy and always get like stupid shit regarding how im immature or dont know what im talking about

and for the while i just let it slide its like okay think that

but lately its built into a monster lol

that actually fuels my direction

its like gas to my fire

i can alchemize it lol

and now im learning to temper it and bring it into equilibrium so i can harness it rather thanit harnessing me

but yeah anger is powerful thats why it can hurt so deeply

and we dont wanna hurt people

but it is sure fun to actually say the thing rather than dwell on what couldve been

so say the thing, lol pull a grammy, and just fucken stand your ground

its a better feeling than internalized anger and self defeat

and just hope the person on the recieving end knows how to alchemize that shit too lol

lol ded

im really grateful for my ancestry and my lineage

not all of it lol

but this part, fuck yeah my grandparents were bosses

legends

its a process

thanks grammy, for being such a bad ass lol

you teach me things even in the afterlife

i miss you bff

my lady loves pink lol