bridging
where i am to where i wanna go
these steps ive taken prior are always leaps
bounds
never really knocking me off my stability
its a habitual pattern that i have mastered lol
but creating grandios
and almost unrealistic expectations
with every step
unbalanced
uncertain with how to make the next move
because its offputting to make such a bold statement and then have to putter in tiny steps afterwards
like i thought this was supposed to be success?
you know make the big move and there we are
but it isnt sustainable
it creates imbalance
never staying in one place too long
im learning these small moves
will bring me to where i truly want to go
not to just where i can leap in the moment
building
bridging
this feels new but stable
and i feel the strength within to carry this on my own
releasing external forces
soveriegnty
and being with myself
for what seems like the first time in a long time
it feels the most safe ive ever felt
its for no other reason other than reliability
knowing my energy
learning my energy
to create
something that feels in alignment to me
so bridging
how do we do this
where are we
honestly
a little wonky
im picturing bambi
on ice
lol
but i have a fire as well
i can see my downsides and my upsides
i see that i can learn as i go
releasing this perfectionism
releasing the fears around failure
and realizing that the visceral feeling of - feeling lol
is normal
my fucken chiron keeps slapping me in the face lol
yeah my ego
its a physilogical experience
to feel failure
obviously, feeling that emotion and how it effects the mind
especially with trauma related to failing
or aspects in our charts
im finding
it can be something we avoid at all costs
behind the scenes
trying pushing
making it work
staying the course
but the feeling of failure for me i relate to humiliation
or shame of doing something wrong
but to push through that
it brings inner strength
its this feeling of we all have our own paths
different to each others
and stepping into something and expecting results
im realizing
was never taught
is not really how it goes
but with that it doesnt take away from my own experience
its about being able to understand where i need to be
in order to have the right forces to create
and the balance
the appreciation in these small steps im taking
learning along the way
lol what do i want to create?
what are the feelings i want to feel while being in creation mode
and being a strong minded person i can see these part of me
of my self
that want it to look a certain way
going back to realizing life is in control
lol
and its like all these stupid mundane tasks are just kinda the mortar of lifes brick wall lol
anyways,
bridging
these big parts
or these small steps that feel like giant leaps
how do we push through
we work with ourselves
divine energies
this world can feel harsh and hard to work with our own energies
to work with ourselves and not against
being highly sensitive and more people feeling these empathic energies
the fear of success obviously mirrors
